It was worth the wait. The future has arrived and, so far, it’s glitch-free. As much as we’ve driven past it a thousand times and although the first photos of its construction were from the Jurassic era, it’s now open. There was even a stage where we thought it was open but it wasn’t really… Yet the poor security guard sat there day and night trying to convince us that it wasn’t a joke. It got worse because they then opened the gas pumps but the store remained closed! Why would they do that?! It’s so unfair! Those fridges were stocked months ago and they still wouldn’t let us in!
Frankly we’re wondering when the ribbon-cutting ceremony will take place. It’s a monumental piece of our every day. In fact it would be rude if the Prime Minister didn’t cut the ribbon himself. It’s everything we could have ever wanted (add pinch of salt).
What we can’t deny is that it’s amazing. We couldn’t stop laughing at how perfect it was and we think we want to review it as a restaurant. Of course you have the usual cakes and nuts and drinks but now they’re serving food made on the spot… And it doesn’t even take a year to serve.
So check this out. You arrive and there is a self-service kiosk. You want a coffee? Tap Coffee then Specialty Coffee then Cappuccino then Large then Almond Milk then Flavours and THEN confirm. It may be the long-windedest (?!) process on Earth but it’s faultless. Then you order a Chorizo Ciabatta sandwich and a Tandoori Chicken Pizza (don’t judge, it’s better than you think) before it prints off your receipt and you pay at the till.
Now we’ve seen technology before… And we’ve seen what we’re like when we’re given new technology at work… Everything goes wrong very quickly. We couldn’t even moan about that because our orders came out in no time. They made the pizza and cooked it in their space oven in minutes. The sandwiches we ordered came out even faster and the coffee was good. And in this entire process nobody screwed up. At all!
k so the food is like plastic and tasteless? Nooooo! Not even that! It’s delicious! Do you have any idea how many times we repeated that we couldn’t believe this was all happening?! Imagine if you woke up one morning and all the potholes were gone. All of them. Then when you start thinking about it you realise that all the roads had been completely resurfaced. IMPOSSIBLE! And that’s exactly how we felt.
Ok so we can get lunch. NO! It’s open 24 hours and the kitchen doesn’t close!
This is madness! It’s like we’re in the wrong country. It’s high time the government gets involved as they always do just to make sure no one can truly be successful at anything.